Dear God, I Need You…Where Are You?

Faith / Monday, February 22nd, 2016

By Dana Goodrum

Five years ago, quite honestly, even a year ago I could not have looked these battles in the face as I do today with such strength, faith, and encouragement.  I am often called inspiring, motivational, and empowering; those words are humbling to hear as descriptors of one’s self.  Many don’t realize how much I need to hear them, to keep myself accountable to a standard that I refuse to fall short of.  I think that’s important in not losing ground in this marathon battle I’ve begun. 

For the last six months, I have been undergoing treatments and testing, for what I and my family have known to be multiple sclerosis.  A diagnosis which finally came last week, a best friend by my side, after a third attack on my brain occurred.  This one was on my right eye, unlike the first two, which were on my left.  If I take my gloves off and let reality settle in, it is pretty scary.  Not because of the disease itself, though unpredictable and awful, it doesn’t scare me.  I have watched my uncle and mother handle this same disease like superheroes, literally.  What does scare me is that I am a single mom of two amazing children, who are eleven and seven.  I am not afraid for me, in fact, I think once you have children there is very little fear that affects you, but fear involving your children seems to engulf everything.  You fear your decisions, their decisions, if something happens to you; how would that impact them, fear, fear, fear.  Add an incurable disease, and single mother status into that equation and the fear jumps, exponentially. 

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